Maybe I’m not your typical doula?

To be honest, I am not entirely sure where to start with this one nor where it is going to take me, but it feels like an important conversation to have. Maybe I’ll start by talking about my why. My motivation. My drive.  

I have always had a great fascination with pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and of course, babies. A pass-time as a young child was watching ‘A Baby Story’ on TLC… not sure whether other kids were watching that show, but I was. Intently. My fascination grew at 10 years old when my youngest sister was born. I remember so much about my mom being pregnant and helping with her as her being a newborn. Looking back now, I wish my parents would have let me come to the birth!

Throughout the rest of my childhood and high school, my captivation grew, and I began to wonder how to incorporate it into a future career. When applying to universities, I contemplated midwifery school but ultimately decided that path was not for me. I ended up going to Western for Health Sciences; the program that eventually led me into applying to Doula Studies at Fanshawe! I am so grateful that I completed my degree at university prior to my doula education as my learning there has completely changed my outlook on health outcomes, societal systems/organization, and ultimately how I work as a doula. I learned that the people who need support the most, often do not have access to it. I learned that people in marginalized circumstances are there due to factors largely beyond their control. I learned about the importance of creating/implementing upstream interventions compared to downstream interventions. All of these and others are my why.

In a perfect world, I would love to support all families without compensation because this type of work is essential, not optional. Not every family needs equal support (in terms of quantity and type), but every family needs some level of support when bringing a new life into the world. I want to be that support for whoever needs it, regardless of whether they can pay for it. In this imperfect world, the best I can do is dedicate a few hours each week to doing pro-bono work. It is because of the paying clients I do have that I am able to do this – so thank you.

In short, my why is that I want to provide support to every family, regardless of circumstance, because I know that the need for it exists.

 Hmmm where to take this next…

 I want to talk about doula stereotypes.

Do I have to have a home birth if I want a doula?

Do I have to breastfeed if I want a doula?

Do doulas push their own views on people?

Are doulas religious?

Doulas are ‘hippies’ or live a ‘granola’ lifestyle.

All doulas have their own children.

I could go on but you get the gist.

 While some of these might be true for some doulas, not one of them is true for me. I do not come into a doula/client relationship with my own agenda or motivations (other than to provide support). For example, you’ll never catch my encouraging a new parent to breastfeed if they have decided they do not want to. I’ll never try to change your mind about something. Instead, I will offer advice, suggestions, and options that support your decisions and your goals.

 I think I’m going to leave this post as it is now. As always, if you made it this far – thank you!