I’m in my 20s, what’s next?
I imagine I am not the only one guilty of watching Instagram reels for longer than planned, aimlessly scrolling through many boring videos, the odd funny one that you immediately send to your bestie, and the strangely relatable ones that make you realize we are all thinking the same things. I have come across this one reel a couple of times and it is one of the truest things I have seen in a long time.
It goes something like this:
Being in your 20s is like;
I am not doing enough; I am doing too much
I am old; I am young
I should be more accomplished; I have only just started
I am focusing on me; I am lonely
I need to settle down; I need to have adventures
I need to have answers; I am figuring it all out
I definitely created many of my own contradictions as I do not remember exactly what they said in the video but I do not want to take credit for how they hit the nail on the head about how hard it is to figure things out as a young adult.
Being in university was easy (well sometimes the work wasn't) because it was where I always planned to go and I knew that I was accomplishing something. But then I graduated, had to leave all of the amazing people I became close with, and head back home. While I do take some risks, I wasn't prepared to stay in London or try to make my way somewhere else. I knew I had the support of my parents back home, and so I went.
This is when I found the job posting to be an outfitter at Smoothwater Outfitters in Temagami for the summer. This job gave me the opportunity to live somewhere new, dip my toes in an industry I had never worked in before, and put off finding a permanent, full-time job just a little bit longer. You may be wondering what I mean by finding a job because I have my business as a doula, and I will get to that.
Being at Smoothwater was exactly what I needed. While it was a busy place with lots of people working hard to provide guests with the northern Ontario getaway they desired, it simultaneously made me feel more relaxed than I had felt in a long time. We were only 10 minutes from the small town of Temagami but 40 minutes from the nearest town that has the Walmart, the restaurants, etc. Because of this, I really did not go to town very often and got to fill my time off with hikes, relaxing, and swimming, instead of the endless list of errands I have when I am at home.
That summer also allowed me the opportunity to design my doula business without the pressures of acquiring clients immediately. I was able to do a lot of research, build my website, figure out how to offer my services, and plan what I wanted to share on social media.
I like to think of myself as a realistic person. Through talking with people, I knew that 'doula' was not a word in many people's vocabulary and so launching my business had to have an education component to it if anyone was going to hire me. I also knew that because of this, I likely wouldn't be working full time as a doula for quite a while. Hence why I needed to look for full-time work elsewhere in addition to working as a doula. I was hired by a successful company in Kincardine and was set to start right when I moved home from Temagami. I was thankful.
I've now been working at this company for over 7 months and I am really enjoying myself. While I am starting to feel settled, I also have moments of frustration because my doula business has not taken off the way I had imagined. I am not throwing a pity party or looking for sympathy in any way, just being honest. I feel as though the effort I have put into my business, including all of the content I have created for Instagram, has not resulted in as many clients as I hoped. Remember that reel I described earlier? It helped me realize that I feel all this pressure to be successful right away, but I am still young and I am just starting out. I will continue to put out content, I will continue to promote myself, and I will continue to have confidence in my skills.
When I was in highschool I would see posts on Instagram about how being in your 20s is strange because some people are getting married, some are having babies, some are travelling the world, some are still in school, some are living at home trying to figure out their next step and so on. If you asked me in highschool where I would be at 24, I would have said in a relationship hoping to get married soon and start a family. Today, I am nowhere near that stage. I am currently single, watching many of my best friends live the life I thought I would be. Is there anything wrong with that? Absolutely not; I am 24 and have so much ahead of me even though it doesn't always feel that way. Is it lonely? Absolutely yes; I am so happy for these friends who are in these stages of their life but it also means that they are less available to spontaneously do things as they were before. It is an adjustment for sure, and likely a relatable one.
When I left Temagami last fall I knew that I would go back in a heartbeat but didn't know if that would be possible with my work in Kincardine. Come February, I decided to reach out to my boss here in Kincardine and ask to take a leave. I am so grateful they said yes. Is going back up north going to help me progress in my work as a doula? No. But is it going to make me happy? 100% yes. My business and job will both be waiting for me to return in September.
So what is this blog post really about? Well it is about the most recent year of my life, but I also hope that it is somewhat relatable to others in a similar stage of their life. We may feel like we are being pulled in so many different directions but it's also important to be present, try to be happy, and to not compare yourself to others. That's cheesy, but so is writing a blog and here we are. ;)
